“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.”

“I do my best thinking in bed…or in the shower…or in the fridge.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”

“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“I don’t need makeup, I’m naturally glamorous…when I’m asleep.”

“Sleeping is my drug and my bed is my dealer.”

“I told my parents I wanted to go to Hogwarts, but all they gave me was a broom to clean with.”

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” “I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.”

“I speak fluent sarcasm, it’s my second language.”

“I don’t need a personal trainer, I need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy food out of my hand.”

“I secretly enjoy doing nothing. It’s like a superpower.” MATA VAISHNO DEVI QUOTES

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesomeness.”

“I may be a teenager, but I’m a professional napper.”

“I don’t have a funny bone, I have a funny brain.”

“Life is too short to remove USB safely.”

“I’m not addicted to my phone, we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.”

“I don’t make mistakes, I create opportunities to learn.”

“My brain is like an internet browser, with 19 tabs open and no clue where the music is coming from.”

“I’m not broke, I’m just between opportunities.”

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