MACGRUBER QUOTES

“I didn’t make my name at the world’s finest culinary academy to sniff out bullshit from a powdered donut, okay?”

“You’ve got four extra torsos for my list, ’cause I only shot six dudes… twice.”

“Let’s make a baby, girl. I’m talking tonight.”

“I’m putting together a team of super valuable players, you’re in.”

“I’m gonna blow each one of those sons of bitches into chunky red mist.”

“I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes. I do have a nickname for my penis. It’s called McGroin.”

“I’ve got a stomach full of cocaine, a nose full of heroin, a dick full of Viagra, and a harebrained scheme to get us all killed!”

“I mean, who would’ve thought that bird seed would be an ingredient for explosives?”

“You let me die! You killed me!” “What’s the problem? This is how Riggs and Murtaugh do it.”

“I was in the zone! You can’t talk to me when I’m in the zone!”

“It’s just a regular piece…de…resistance.”

“I only have sex with hot babes. Okay, well, maybe… I guess I’m a little more indiscriminate with my slut-choices than most.” DOWN TO EARTH QUOTES

“For the record, that was an accident! I was aiming for his arm.”

“Permission to shoot him in the face, sir?”

“Do you want one of these bad boys? You can take Stick’s if you want.”

“I’m on a mission to Mars, but I’m grounded here in this sh*thole!”

“I love ripping throats. It’s like my favorite thing and I’m really good at it.”

“If you’re wondering if I have a secret plan, the answer is yes, and so far it’s ‘don’t die.'”

“I had ribs for lunch; that’s why I’m doing this.”

“Let’s put your faith to the test. Psych!”

“I have a lot of powers, one of them being that I have no idea when I’m high.”

“I promise you this: I’m always gonna let you finish.”

“It’s time for me to get in that ass and go to work.”