MICHAEL SCOTT RETARDED QUOTE

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

“Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.”

“Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go. ‘Cause of your butt.”

“And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”

“I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning weirdo.”

“This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here.”

“Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing.” “Would I rather be sitting on a beach, or making my employees happy? I’m right where I want to be.”

“Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame.”

“Sometimes you have to declare bankruptcy. When you’re a little kid and you’re overwhelmed, the solution is to declare bankruptcy and start over.”

“The worst thing about prison was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and they’d come down and they’d suck the soul out of your body.

“I am Beyoncé, always.” QUOTES ABOUT POSERS

“I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30. But I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40. But by 40 I still wasn’t even close.”

“I have no hatred in my heart for minorities.”

“Just poopin’. You know how I be.”

“Guess what?! I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.”

“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”

“Would I rather be sitting on a couch or standing in front of a room full of strangers, humiliating myself? I’ll take the latter. Easiest decision I’ve ever made.”

“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be part of one someday.”

“Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where. Or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever.”

“Sometimes, I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. Improversation.”

“Would I rather be feared or loved? That’s easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

Please note that these quotes are intended for entertainment purposes only, and the character of Michael Scott may have made inappropriate remarks or had misguided intentions in certain situations on the show.