“I’m not a wizard, Jeremy. I’m just a normal person who happens to have a very special gift: the gift of seeing through bullshit.” – Mark Corrigan

“Suppose I’ll have to go to a lap dancing club and learn to respect women.” – Mark Corrigan

“Not being married is like having a really nice car and never being able to drive it.” – Jeremy Usborne

“I can be anything, you know. I could be a lumberjack, or a spaceman, or a deep sea diver. Why do I have to be a salesman?” – Jeremy Usborne

“I guess the way I grow up is just by doing a series of things I don’t want to do.” – Mark Corrigan

“Thanks, Super Hans. Five words that sum up life for me.” – Mark Corrigan

“I’m booking myself a one-way ticket to fucksville.” – Jeremy Usborne

“I can’t believe I’ve let myself get involved in this emotional bulls**t. It’s like those scenes I always used to fast forward on The Office.” – Mark Corrigan

“I’ve got to order food or they’ll think I’m a dope fiend.” – Jeremy Usborne “Oh. Right. Piss my balls.” – Jeremy Usborne

“How do I feel? Empty, like I’ve gone five rounds with a washing machine, like I’ve taken the batteries out of my soul and I can’t put them back.” – Mark Corrigan

“Why don’t I act my age? I’m 3 Probably because I don’t feel it, I still feel a student, I haven’t got a job, I’ve failed to make that transition to adulthood. I live in a strange, half-light world between student-hood and adult life, between university and your life’s work. It’s like no-man’s land.” – Mark Corrigan

“In football, you go for the ball. I mean, if someone’s in your way, you don’t think to yourself, ‘Oh, there’s a person. Maybe they’ve got hopes and dreams.’ You smash them out of the way and you get on with it.” – Jeremy Usborne INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES WHEN YOU FEEL DEFEATED

“You’re gonna love this: we’re going to get wasted, have a good time, and fuck a few hookers!” – Super Hans

“She’s got a super fetish for having her feet hammered. Little silver tacks. You can’t use nails, too splitty.” – Mark Corrigan

“It’s not that I’m incapable of having fun, I just don’t see the point.” – Mark Corrigan

“I’m not a psychopath, I’m just very upset.” – Jeremy Usborne

“Oh god I’m a crack addict, I enjoy crack. It’s cool, it eases the stress.” – Jeremy Usborne

“Marry me, because I’d like to date you.” – Jez Osbourne

“There is nothing more boring than doing something you’re supposed to be doing. Like reading Proust… I mean, how did he not die of boredom?” – Jeremy Usborne

“I’m not a good person. I’m not a bad person. I’m not a hero, or an anti-hero. I’m definitely not a ‘pro-controversialist’. I’m not a ‘character.’ I don’t have a gimmick. I’m just a person.” – Mark Corrigan

“We go together like the Middle East and knives.” – Jeremy Usborne

“I’m not a doctor but I’m well-read. I mean, there’s so many neck-related accidents in everyday life, let alone crack dens.” – Mark Corrigan

“I’m a musician, Mark. I’m not into spellings.” – Super Hans

Daily News & Updates