“I’m not a pessimist, Bubbles, I’m a realist.”

“I’m not a bad guy, I just have bad luck.”

“I’m not saying I invented the wheel, but I was the first guy to put rims on it.”

“I got me grade 10 boys, I’m practically a genius.”

“I’m like a samsquanch, boys. Get too close and I’ll rip your face off!”

“It’s not rocket appliances, boys!”

“When I’m in charge, every day will be a holiday. Everybody will have their own gun, and no one will ever have to be late for work again!”

“I’m a very litigious person, whatever that means.”

“I’m like a cat in a world full of fish, boys.” “I’m gonna have pancakes for dinner, boys. I don’t follow society’s rules.”

“I’m not a pessimist, I’m just good at sniffin’ out shitstorms.”

“I’ve been called the Trailer Park Einstein, boys.”

“The only difference between me and a unicorn is that I’m real, boys.” MAHABHARATA QUOTES BY KRISHNA

“I don’t have regrets, I have learning experiences.”

“I’m not a criminal, I just have a lot of felonies.”

“I’ve got a jailable offense, for just about everything!”

“I have a high school education, I’m a teenager in life!”

“I’m a professional, boys. That’s why I’m always getting paid.”

“I’m the king of the counterculture, boys.”

“I’m not a quitter, I’m a fighter. I just get knocked down a lot.”

“I’m realistic, not unrealistic.”

“I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m a tool.”

“I’m the best at getting arrested, boys. It’s like a talent or something.”

“I’m not dumb, I’m just street smart.”

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