“I thought the show was over when this act came on.”

“Why do they call it a supporting actor? He hasn’t supported anything all night!”

“Ah, the good old days, when movies were black and white and so was I.”

“I haven’t seen acting like that since the last school play.”

“I feel like we’re watching someone’s midlife crisis on stage.”

“This performance is like a fart in church – you just can’t ignore it.”

“I’d rather have a root canal than sit through that again.”

“This is like watching paint dry…but without the excitement.”

“I don’t know what’s worse, the performance or the fact that we’re here watching it.”

“Did I fall asleep, or did the show just get really boring?”

“Whoever thought putting these two on stage together should get a refund.”

“I don’t know if it’s the performers or the audience that’s the bigger joke.”

“I’ve seen better acting at a funeral.” RECIPROCATION QUOTES

“This is a train wreck, and we can’t look away.”

“I’d rather be waterboarded than sit through that again.”

“This is the kind of show that makes you wish you had stayed home.”

“The last time I saw something this bad, I ended up in therapy.”

“Do these performers know they’re bombing, or are they just delusional?”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this performance, and my gut’s never been wrong.”

“This is the train station and the show just got derailed.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how you sing in key.”

“This is like watching a traffic jam, but less entertaining.”

“I’ve seen better acting in a high school play.”

“This performance is like a car crash, you can’t help but stare at it.”

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